Do we need other people to understand ourselves essay

But what does it really mean to love and care for yourself? For some people, self-love means taking a warm bath or pampering themselves with a massage or manicure. Yet, the elusive self-love that we seek requires something deeper than anything we can "do" for ourselves. Self-love means finding peace within ourselves — resting comfortably within the depths of our being.

Eugene Gendlin.


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Being gentle with ourselves means being kind and friendly toward the feelings that arise within us. It is very human to feel sad, hurt, and afraid sometimes. Can you be with it in a gentle, caring way? Can you be friendly with that felt sense Can you say hello to that felt sense inside? Imagine sitting down next to it…Can you keep it company much the way you would keep a vulnerable child company?

Rather than battling ourselves or trying to fix or change ourselves.

A subtle sense of fear and shame may prevent us from allowing our experience to have its life inside us. Embracing the Wisdom of Not-Knowing.

Getting to Know Yourself, What You Like, and What You Want in Life

Our society values knowledge and decisiveness. Let me think about it.

Human feelings are gifts to be welcomed. But we need to find a way to be with them so that they become allies, not enemies. Emotions such as grief allow us to release pain so that we might move forward in our lives. Other feelings may be more fuzzy, such as a clutching in our stomach or a tightness around our chest. New meanings, insights, and openings arise and our lives move forward in a more fulfilling way.

With all of this information, you should now be able to answer the following: What qualities, skills, strengths and behaviours do I have that positively influence my ability to lead others? What values, attitudes and behaviours reduce or limit my ability to connect with and lead others?

What qualities, skills, strengths and behaviours do I need to develop or strengthen in order to improve my ability to lead and bring out the best in others? What drives me as a person, and how authentically do I reflect my inner self in my observable personality and behaviour? Back to Leadership. In This Section Sort by Date. Order Asc Desc. View mode Full Compact List.

Emotion Change and emotions in the workplace.

Long and Short Essay on Happiness in English

Smiling woman 4. Personality Predict behaviour at work by Behaviour Behaviour is a critical determinant of Smiling Leader 5 x Attitude An important element of your success. Emotional Intelligence What makes a leader? Continue your learning for just a latte a week! Next time you are judging something you said or did, consider the question:. Have other humans possibly made a similar mistake and learned from it?

Our mind is extremely skillful at storing information about how we react to a certain event to form a blueprint of our emotional life source. Such information often ends up conditioning our mind to react in a certain way as we encounter a similar event in the future. Self-awareness allows us to be conscious of this conditioning and preconceptions of the mind, which can form the foundation of freeing the mind from it. The ability to monitor our emotions and thoughts from moment to moment is key to understanding ourselves better, being at peace with who we are and proactively managing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

In addition, self-aware people tend to act consciously rather than react passively , and tend to be in good psychological health and to have a positive outlook on life. They also have a greater depth of life experience and are more likely to be more compassionate.


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  6. An investigation by Sutton also examined the component parts of self-awareness and their benefits. This study found that the self-reflection, insight, and mindfulness aspects of self-awareness can lead to benefits such as becoming a more accepting person, while the rumination and mindfulness aspects can lead to emotional burdens. A number of researches have shown self-awareness as a crucial trait of successful business leaders.

    In a study undertaken by Green Peak Partners and Cornell University, 72 executives at public and private companies were studied. Self-awareness—in this study—was the strongest predictor of overall success. Self-awareness is also crucial for psychotherapists. This can help counselors be more nonjudgmental towards their clients, and help them better understand their clients.

    Psychologists Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel T. In addition to the constant mind-wandering, the various cognitive bias also affects our ability to have an accurate understanding of ourselves; we tend to believe narratives that support our already existing sense of self. This pre-existing belief about ourselves might influence how we handle the aftermath of, say, forgetting about a lunch date with a friend. Additionally, confirmation bias can trick us into searching for or interpreting information in a way that confirms our pre-conception of something.

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    How To Respect Yourself More

    That is confirmation bias, in its finest. Furthermore, the lack of the willingness to seek feedback could also work against us if we want to have a more holistic view of ourselves through the eyes of others. If we want to cultivate our own self-awareness, how do we reconcile that with these psychological tendencies where we only acknowledge certain versions of ourselves? What further complicates the picture is the different aspects of the self we relate to in everyday life.

    This difference can have a significant impact on the story we are telling ourselves, the way we relate to self and others, and the decision we make, even though we may not notice the difference most of the time. For our purposes, let us say that self-awareness consists of being mindful of our identities and lived experiences and how they relate to those of other people.

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    For example, self-focused attention might mean that a counselor thinks about how anxious they are about the therapy session, which leads to the client feeling that the counselor is not paying attention to them. Some of the strategies that therapists can use to stop self-awareness from being distracting include remembering to focus on the client, their needs, and the goals of the counseling session.

    If you are not a counselor or in the field, there are many more ways to increase self-awareness in your everyday life.

    As human beings, we may never fully understand ourselves, if there is such a destination. But perhaps it is the journey of exploring, understanding and becoming ourselves that makes life worth living. Whether you want to be more accepting of yourself or more accepting of others, cultivating self-awareness is a good place to start. Would you say you are a self-aware person? How do you see the role of self-awareness in your professional and personal life?

    Jessie Zhu is a qualified personal and executive coach and positive psychology practitioner.